Its suckzz...

Last saturday i went to queensbay with my friendss...

Argh... i dont know why the situation will becomes S-U-C-K-Z!!!! everything started is because of my greedy... Dont know why i a sooo greed bout it until i can do everything... haiss...

But these all stuff made me realise a lot of thingss....

First... betrayal is bad... But,ironicaly... i done it... I betray all of my friend and i just dont know why i will done it... I am soo regret... Soo sry pei ying,ye xiang,jia hong and choon lin..

Second... lying is bad... But,i have also done it... I lied to them and i am sooo regret now thinking of their faces.. They believed me,waiting for me to come back but i lied to them... Oh gosh... I am really sorry...

Third... Friendship is the best compare to love... friends can forgive you faster then a lover.. But i am soooo sorry friends,i lied,betray,leave,forget u all... I am bad... haizz... I know i didnt deserve all your forgiveness...

Here are some words i want to tell them:-
Peiying
I am soo sory i dumped u... i know what i say now would be fake and i dont want to explain anything... You see,i am really sorry no matter what.. You can blame me or i should say u must blame me... Dont ask me any reason of what i done that day.. I am just soo sorry...
Ye xiang
Oh... I am very sorry to you too.. Nothing more to say.. sorrysorrysorry and sorry...
Jia hong
Well.. I think i have explain all in the phone with u... Its up to u to believe or not... I appreciate if u believe me but i have nothing to say if u didnt believe me... Mayb is me who didnt tell u everything before i joined you all to queensbay... but now,everything is over... S-O-R-R-Y is what i should and must to say
Choon lin
You know nothing about what is happening that day... So,accept my apologized by not accompanied you all.. Really Sorry about it...


Friendzz... hundred and thousand of S-O-R-R-Y...

well....

OK,i will just admit it... I am lazy for blogs.. these is the reason:
1. using stupid pinyin for typing ( sorry chia yin )
2. i will become stupidly emo
3. i am just dishonest about my blog

Disappoint??

SO sorry bout that... but i will be totally honest from now on...

To be honest..
I hope you all prepare for being heart attack.. ha.

Today is the last day of 1B exam,yucks!! i hate exam... I used to have a very open minded bout exam... happy go lucky.. but now, everything change since i enter this new class... my class is a class of bookworm(sorry....). Its true when u see them holding a book whenever they are... i just cant do the same like them... For them.am i a freak??(for not always holding a book).

But,exam is going to over( 6 hours left)... and i start to plan about my holiday... improve my English??? or maybe i just have to repay my sleep dept... During this exam,i just slept for 3 hours per day and i feel incredible right now.. Where comes my passionate about exam?? Erhemm... Actually... I am vain.. I want good result is to being proud in front of everybody. ha ha... But these does not happen every single exam as teik how is the biggest winner... Don't denied about it!!!

Currently,i start to think of my R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N.. Its all about my ex bf... ARGH.... Am i still have feelings on him?? maybe yes... disappoint??? please don't... i am undergo a series of transformation... from a simple brain to a more complicated one.. But i am not sure that it will success or not... I try to be honest with myself... Its quite tough for me... But honest in front of other people is more tough... You cant make sure that people can accept the darker side of you or not...

When Chia Yin said about my relation,she will just scoff... Am i really too not serious in love?? No!!! I am not!!! i am totally serious when love passing by... But just.. maybe I will start to see things in different perspective when love passing by... And i am selfish,I will give myself the best.. Not other...

Ever wonder about why i have a very ugly history?? Maybe is because i am too good and don't know how to refuse people...Its hard to say 'NO'... but i have mentioned just now.. I am undergo-ing a transformation... trust me...

迷.信

我跪在他的身前,輕輕的告訴他我的心事.

他甚麼也沒說,只是板著一張臉...

難道,我所付出的,不足以讓我得到好成績?

我走到他身旁,痛心的問了個問題.

他竟讓我篬了鼻...

難道,我做了錯的選擇?

其實,他不需回答我...

因為,我是個不聽話的小孩...

我總讓自己受到傷痛,但我從來沒有改過....

或許,我應學會珍惜,珍惜我所擁有...

你曾說,你我的情是在不知覺中到來... 你還記得我給你的答案嗎?

我說,它像幻影.

它是不存在的,但在光的折射下,卻出現了...

它讓人心動;它讓人在乎;它更讓人感到無助....

但,在光的黯然,它便會消失...

只有滴滴答答,可以證明它是否是個幻影...

這時,我隱約看見,他的迷濛煙薰中,對我點了點頭.....

~

可愛.可恨

世上的法則真的很奇怪.最可愛的,是人;最可恨的,也是人.

你最愛的,是人;你最恨的,也是人.

愛愛恨恨,恨恨愛愛,其實也只有一線之差. 有一天,你不愛我了,那你會不會恨我?

或者, 有一天, 一切都風頭路轉,你或許會恨我一輩子.... 會嗎?

考驗~

我們活在這個世界上,總會面對許多考驗.

或許,有些人能夠輕鬆應付哪些考驗. 但那個人絕對不是我....

開始的時候,以為自己是個堅強的人,以為自己說要做到的事絕對能夠完成它. 現在,卻沒辦法實行.

我開始覺得,我的心竟是那麼的脆弱.你又怎會覺得呢??

我的心,是那麼容易被動搖,我的心是那麼容易被改變,我的心無法在我掌控中操作.

我一直覺得自責,一直覺得自己沒用,也就是因為如此. 如果有一天,我的心不再一樣了,你會怎麼樣看待我??

我也很心疼,把你捧上了天,再把你摔下.請原諒我,請諒解我,這些真的不在你我的掌控之間.

你可知,我這麼做,是多麼不舍你受了傷,不舍你傷了心...

我不懂你明白的多少,只想在這裡告訴你,我們的未來有著無限的可能. 現在,也只有遺憾和等待...

面對著這種考驗,你我能撐的多久??

比賽~

人活在這個世界上,都一直會比賽.... 任何一場比賽,我們都能輕易取勝,唯有跟內心比賽,那就難了...

跟自己內心的比賽中.... 我輸的好徹底...

我開始控制不來我自己的心理...

怎麼辦?? 我會不會做出一些我自己也不懂是甚麼的事情??

說是要調整心理,卻被心理調整.... 我真的好失敗....

瑩說,我在欺騙著我自己... 我有嗎??

為甚麼? 為甚麼我開始以不同角度觀察事情? 為甚麼我開始會莫名的發愣??

是不是因為,我真的沒辦法調整我的心理了?? 還是我應該任由它放肆??

於是,我再次面對談話問題,我沒辦法自自然然的說話了... 你可知道嗎?

好煩... 但也不比考試煩... 唉... 好想趕快把心理調整好,但,越想調整就越被調整....

關於工作,我還是放不下他們... 就走一步看一步好了...

明天,我必須再次參加比賽,參加一場無形的比賽... 你希望誰勝利呢??

月圓~

今天的月亮是那麽的圓，你看到了嗎？

傳説中，月圓的時候,狼人將會變身...

而人呢，是不是在月圓的時候，内心的另一個自己會出現？

我想是會吧...因為今天我的心起伏好大...

我開始對我的工作感到絕望與灰心...開始質疑自己是否有資格教導別人... 學生在上課時不與我合作... 但我也不去理會了....

我靜靜的坐在一邊,看著她玩樂的開心臉蛋,真的捨不得打擾她.再說,我教她的時間已經不多...

你一直提醒我不要在去工作,但我捨不得他們啊... 他們是我的第一批學生.... 他們讓我的半個夢想成真.... 這一點,你又知道了多少??

媽媽今天對我說的話,我聽了進去... 女人再做決定之前,一定要先替自己想想... 以妨出現周杰倫的'我不配'... 說的也是,到底配不配?

月好圓,我看著這美麗的她... 認為自己是多麼的無助... 既然你不能從我的臉讀出我內心的感受,那就讓它好好的把自己封閉在內心底處...

月圓的時候,它就會被釋放出來... 但,你又在哪裡?